Understand Yourself Through Personal Constructs

Necessary wisdom

Another way of determining personality and identity differences is to look at the different criteria people use when they make comparisons. Neuroscientists have discovered that the primary way human beings and animals learn about the world is by making comparisons. When we encounter something new, our brain compares the new experience with past experiences and attempts to establish some similarities as a basis for laying down some language or understanding on our new encounter. We usually define new things in terms of things we already know e.g. we might conclude that they are similar to certain past experiences, but quite different from others. As we go through this comparing process almost every day of our lives, we gradually build up an internal set of criteria that we primarily use as the basis for our judgments. Since these criteria are based on our life experiences, and since everybody’s life experiences are different, the total set of criteria will be unique for every person. By understanding each person’s unique set of criteria, we are better able to understand what is special about each individual identity.

In the mid 1950’s, an American psychologist named George Kelly explored these internal sets of criteria in humans and called them, “personal constructs”. Kelly went on to develop a theory of personality differences based around these constructs.

Kelly explained that over time, each of our personal constructs develops into a range, scale or continuum of qualities with opposites at each end. For example, one way we might compare, think about or judge people is in terms of whether they are happy or unhappy. This range or continuum of possibilities is an example of one personal construct. Another personal construct we might use with people is “intelligent or stupid”. Yet another might be “interesting or boring”. Every person will use their own pairs of opposite words for comparisons and we can describe their total collection of paired words as their set of personal constructs.

Kelly and his followers developed a tool called the “repertory grid” for discovering personal constructs, and some psychotherapists in assisting therapy clients to discover more about themselves use this tool, along with a careful selection of questions. I have taken Kelly’s general approach and developed a less intensive procedure that can simply be used to discover some of our own personal constructs or comparison criteria. In turn, knowledge of these constructs might provide some insights into our own identity and ultimately provide some more identity elements for our own identity chart.

Creative responses

CREATIVE RESPONSE (SU): Use the Personal Construct Discovery process to reveal some of the common criteria you use in making comparisons in life.

*         This process can be applied to almost any group of things or elements that can be compared or judged: people, animals, objects, places, performances, movies, situations, pastimes etc. As an example, we will use “people we know well” as the elements of the process.

*         In your journal or notebook, draw up a chart similar to the one below.

*         In the “Elements being compared” section, list a broad range of seven people you encounter regularly and know reasonably well e.g. two or three friends, a couple of people encountered at work, and two or three people encountered at a sporting club. List them in a completely random order beside the numbers 1 to 7.

*         Use the ten lines underneath to make three way comparisons about random combinations of three items or elements from the list - in this case, the list of people you know well. Under “Element Combos”, the chart has already provided ten different combinations of three numbers from 1 to 7 but you can use your own. These numbers relate to the numbers attached to each of the elements in the “Elements being compared” section. In our example below, numbers one, two and three relate to Adam, Betty and Cate respectively.

                                                     Personal Constructs Discovery Chart

*         For each group of three items, ask yourself, “Which two are similar or alike whilst being different from the third element?” Then, in the appropriate columns, list the quality those two similar elements share, and the opposite quality evident in the other element. Here is the sample chart based on “people I know well”.

*         In the above example, the partly completed chart shows someone who views the world in terms of people being “hard working” or “lazy”, “easy going or “obstructive” and “sociable” or “withdrawn” etc. These pairs of qualities represent the personal constructs of the person completing the chart and they represent some of the criteria this person uses to compare things and learn about the world.

Understanding your Identity with the Enneagram

Necessary wisdom

The Enneagram came to us from the ancient Islamic mystics known as Sufis, and they observed that human personalities differ in terms of the way people learn to cope with stressful situations in life. The theory of the Enneagram suggests that the circumstances of our lives as very young children caused us to adopt a certain set of assumptions about the world - particularly with regard to the ways, when and how we gained love and attention from our parental figures and other people.

Because of these assumptions, we developed a range of strategies to seek love and attention from others, and ways of coping when we did not receive all the attention we desired. These strategies became our typical coping strategies as children and they stayed with us right into adulthood. After many years of practice, we became efficient at coping in our particular ways, so our strategies honed a range of strengths that characterized our personality and the best moments of our adult behaviour. Unfortunately, those same assumptions and coping strategies also tend to limit and restrict our responses to life’s events when we are under stress. During the tough times, we tend to slip into the same compulsive coping behaviour we used as infants.

After studying the compulsive coping behaviour of children and adults, the Sufis believed there are just nine typical sets of responses. They designated these response types with the numbers one to nine, but certain traditions also described them with other descriptive terms and even animal symbols.

The Sufis argue that when we understand the compulsive motivation behind our behaviour i.e. when we understand our Enneagram type, we can then start to integrate some of the strengths of the other types into our personality. The ultimate goal of the Enneagram is that individuals use the knowledge it provides to develop their weaker areas and grow towards wholeness - a state where we use the most appropriate response to situations, and not necessarily our typical, preferred or compulsive response.

When describing the different types, writers typically list characteristics in two groups: the strengths that come to the fore in our best moments and the compulsive behaviours that arise during our darker moments of stress and chaos.

Listed below are the nine Enneagram types and the typical childhood “coping” strategies associated with each, followed by a list of typical personality characteristics in the form of identity elements that we can associate with the nine types.

Enneagram Childhood Coping Strategies

-          A Type One gains love and attention by being “good”, and doing the “right thing”

-          A Type Two gains love and attention by being needed and by doing what others seem to need and want

-          A Type Three gains love and attention by being successful and being the “best” at things

-          A Type Four gains love and attention by being the “special” one that others will want to love the most

-          A Type Five deals with times when they do not have the love and attention they want by limiting their expectations and being self sufficient

-          A Type Six gains love and attention by being obedient to those in authority and trying to avoid dangerous situations

-          A Type Seven deals with the times when they do not have the love they want by escaping into fantasy and being “fun” lovers

-          A Type Eight deals with the times when they do not have the love they want by trying not to be vulnerable and instead, asserting their power over the situation by being powerful

-          A Type Nine attempts to gain love and attention by being agreeable, by going along with what others want and merging others’ needs with theirs.

Typical Symbols & Identity Elements Associated With Enneagram Types

Type Ones - Also described as “the reformer”, “the perfectionist”, “the achiever”, or “the ant”

In their best moments, a “One” might be described as someone who:

-          has a positive and stable outlook on life

-          applies sound judgement and common sense to issues, and is able to discern the key issues in a complex problem

-          is concerned about injustices and who crusades for the rights of those suffering injustices

-          can draw out the gifts in other people

-          is truthful and ethical

In their worst or highly stressful moments, a “One” might be described as someone who:

-          always likes to be “right” and can therefore be quite judgemental, critical and intolerant of others

-          has a seething bed of repressed anger

-          tends to not reveal their emotions readily

-          constantly and anxiously worries about things

-          hates to waste time, and can be quite possessive of their time

Type Twos - Also described as “the helper”, “the giver” or “the Irish Setter”

In their best moments, a “Two” might be described as someone who:

-          is kind, caring and supportive of others

-          is sensitive to, and considerate of others’ needs

-          is a loyal and faithful friend

-          is able to clearly express and assert their own needs

-          clearly and directly states how they see things

In their worst or highly stressful moments, a “Two” might be described as someone who:

-          tends to be a compulsive rescuer and advice giver

-          can become irritable and mean if others are not as caring to them

-          over-romanticises love and is easily infatuated

-          might easily become over-possessive or jealous

-          may work hard for others and then suddenly refuse to help anymore

Type Threes - Also described as “the performer”, “the succeeder”, the “motivator”, or “the eagle”

In their best moments, a “Three” might be described as someone who:

-          attractively radiates self confidence in the presence of others

-          draws people together into communities

-          is a natural leader and motivator with effective communication skills

-          encourages and affirms others

-          is enthusiastic and spontaneous

In their worst or highly stressful moments, a “Three” might be described as someone who:

-          “uses” others for their own ends

-          is vain and competitively wants to be the centre of attention

-          can be callous with those who are not “with” them

-          can be so task oriented they lose sight of other peoples’ needs

-          will pragmatically and readily shift their allegiances and beliefs to suit the circumstances

Type Fours - Also described as “the individualist”, “the romantic”, “the artist”, or “the black stallion”

In their best moments, a “Four” might be described as someone who:

-          is creative, artistic, cultured and an appreciator of beauty

-          is sensitive to the “vibes” of a group and responsive to their environment

-          focuses fully on, and pours all their energy into their current project

-          understands their own depths and is able to get in touch with their own unconscious motivations

-          is a creative channel for good

In their worst or highly stressful moments, a “Four” might be described as someone who:

-          withdraws to their inner world and cuts themselves off from other people

-          feels things intensely but finds it difficult to communicate these feelings to others

-          can easily over-exaggerate their feelings, particularly their negative feelings towards themselves

-          tends to be individualistic and finds it hard to be part of a team

-          can be self-indulgent and neglect the things they feel they should do

Type Fives - Also described as “the observer”, “the thinker”, or “the owl”

In their best moments, a “Five” might be described as someone who:

-          is a clear, perceptive, and original thinker

-          appreciates knowledge for its own sake

-          can quickly see the “whole” picture and provide an accurate overview of an issue

-          is a gentle, patient, accepting listener

-          may take time to relate to others but who can develop close relationships with those they trust

In their worst or highly stressful moments, a “Five” might be described as someone who:

-          can be immersed in their own thinking to the exclusion of others

-          can be suspicious of others and commonly cynical of others’ motives

-          is contemptuous of others’ ignorance and may be intimidating

-          can be paralysed by shyness, aloof, and stingy in sharing themselves

-          finds it very difficult to directly ask for what they want

Type Sixes - Also described as “the guardian”, “the trooper”, “the questioner”, “the loyalist” or “the deer”

In their best moments, a “Six” might be described as someone who:

-          is a very warm, friendly, approachable and co-operative person

-          is a completely loyal, protective and trusting friend or parent whilst being able to playfully tease those they like

-          acts responsibly and appreciates the difficulties of those who are in authority or in positions of leadership

-          has an innocent, child-like quality - especially in relation to authority figures

-          is courageous and willing to tackle the difficult jobs

In their worst or highly stressful moments, a “Six” might be described as someone who:

-          doubts and worries about their own competence and is often unsure of themselves

-          is constantly “on guard”, wary and cautious

-          always obeys the rules and holds a dogmatic faith in authorities (due to their own self-doubt)

-          believes they are approved of by authorities and resents or accuses others who seem to “get away with things” or who do not “obey the rules”

-          constantly puts things off because of their own self doubt

Type Sevens - Also described as “the dreamer”, “the epicure”, “the adventurer” or “the butterfly”

In their best moments, a “Seven” might be described as someone who:

-          is cheerful, optimistic, playful and full of child-like joy

-          is very sensitive to people and objects in the material world

-          is living in the “here and now”

-          likes making others feel at home and playing the generous host

-          is resourceful and knows how to get things done

In their worst or highly stressful moments, a “Seven” might be described as someone who:

-          almost always attempts to escape pain or unpleasant situations

-          compulsively daydreams and fantasizes about the unrealistic things they plan to do but who rarely gets around to practically implementing their plans and dreams

-          will “play” with almost anyone who has the time to “play” now instead of developing long-term, solid friendships

-          is very talkative and chatters to reduce pain and tension, commonly using analogies to avoid facing things directly

-          believes the world should look after them “now”, and can become volatile and angry if things do not go the way they want

Type Eights - Also described as “the confronter”, “the boss”, “the asserter”, “the leader” or “the tiger”

In their best moments, an “Eight” might be described as someone who:

-          is a natural leader who brings people together in a positive way under a common vision

-          can sense what is needed in a particular situation and ensures that it gets done

-          works tirelessly and passionately for a cause - often involving other people

-          is open, direct and honest - “what you see is what you get”

-          faces life with courage and honour

In their worst or highly stressful moments, an “Eight” might be described as someone who:

-          can be hostile and dictatorial to those who disagree with or defy them

-          typically shows instant opposition to any suggestion they have not provided

-          is easily bored and seeks extreme or excessive means of entertainment

-          cannot tolerate dishonesty or deceit in others

-          competitively treats other people as objects or as opposition to overcome

Type Nines - Also described as “the preservationist”, “the mediator”, “the peacemaker” or “the porpoise”

In their best moments, a “Nine” might be described as someone who:

-          is humble and unpretentious

-          is undemanding, peaceful and easy to get along with

-          is able to see both sides of an issue and take an impartial stance as a facilitator

-          seems to feel at home in the outdoors and in natural surroundings

-          seems to be able to calm others down

In their worst or highly stressful moments, a “Nine” might be described as someone who:

-          withdraws from any kind of external conflict to the point of withdrawing from other people rather than facing the issue

-          avoids any inner conflicts and will avoid facing obvious problems in their relationships or occupations

-          tends to be a compulsive conformist and goes along with the existing situation instead of rocking the boat

-          is a compulsive conservative and resistant to change even when it is required to solve a problem

-          finds it difficult to become really engaged or involved in activities

Creative responses

CREATIVE RESPONSE (SU): Explore the list of identity elements for each of the nine Enneagram types to discover which type most applies to you.

*         Read the list of identity elements for each type, and take note of the number of elements that apply to you under each type heading. Your highest totals may indicate the most likely contenders for your Enneagram type.

*         This activity is not an official or comprehensive test, so your results will only provide you with a starting point for further investigation. For some detailed descriptions of each Enneagram personality type and more rigorous tests, type “Enneagram” into an internet search engine and explore some of the sites which describe the types in detail.

*         Remember that our Enneagram type is something that has to “grow” on us over time. At one workshop I attended back in the 1970s, our instructor informed us that we need to live with our suggested type for at least a year before we might really own it.

*         If you have just encountered the Myers-Briggs typology (see above) for the first time, and this is also the first time you have heard of the Enneagram, you may find it very confusing to explore both typologies at the same time. Consider placing one of them “on hold” while you explore the other.

Understanding your Identity with the Myers-Briggs Typology

Necessary wisdom

Psychologists who have specialized in human personality would suggest that we could gain a good handle on our identity by studying our distinctive personality styles.

Personality typologies and tests have been developed since the time of the Ancient Greeks when Hippocrates came up with his four Humours around 5 BC. He observed that in general terms, people can be described as either impulsive (Choleric humour), reflective (Melancholic humour), easy going (Phlegmatic humour) or energetic (Sanguine humour). A number of years later, Aristotle related these humours to the forces of nature and labelled the four types as Fire, Earth, Water and Air. Since then, various psychologist have developed a whole range of typologies and a quick summary of many of the four basic option typologies can be found in Diane Turner and Thelma Greco’s book, “The Personality Compass” (Element Books, 1998). Of course, the theorists of these typologies recognise that there are many variations within each type, but the four basic options provide a useful starting point for discovering one’s general preferences.

There are two particular values in exploring our personality styles and typologies. The first is that typologies remind us that different people instinctively approach life and problems from significantly different directions and no one direction is necessarily better in the long - term than others. We simply have a different style of approach, and whilst one style might work more effectively in some situations, other styles will be more effective in others. This knowledge can help to make us more tolerant and accepting of others with a different style from us. The second value is that knowledge of our preferred styles provides us with a useful, expanded vocabulary or set of words to describe our own personality and ultimately, our identity.

To get started on the process, we will firstly explore a simple, two-part typology.

The Type A and Type B Typology

One of the most popular personality typologies is a two-option typology commonly used when exploring our likelihood of experiencing stress related illnesses. This typology was developed by cardiologists, Meyer Friedman and R. H. Rosenman and it suggests that our personalities can be described as Type A or Type B personalities (although there can also be a Type AB for those who cannot make up their minds!)

It used to be thought that people with Type A personalities were more likely to experience stress related illnesses, but recent studies have shown that some of the characteristics of Type A’s can actually help to reduce some types of stress - particularly those stressors related to feelings of powerlessness. The typology is not widely used today, but it is useful discussion starter for personality typologies. Where would you place yourself? Are you more type A, or Type B?

Type A & B Typology

Type A

-          is a hard working type

-          can often be a demanding person

-          is typically impatient

-          can readily become hostile and aggressive

-          likes to be competitive

-          is always mindful of the clock

Type B

-          takes a relaxed attitude to work

-          is an easy going, laid back person

-          usually is a very patient person

-          is not easily aroused to aggression

-          has no interest in being competitive

-          does not watch the clock

-          tries to avoid deadlines

-          finds it easy to relax

-          feels secure about their self - esteem

 

Two and four part typologies are OK for starters, but typologies become particularly interesting once you have eight or more options. I have found during forty years of looking at typologies, that the two most accessible, interesting and useful are the well-researched, sixteen type Myers - Briggs typology, and the nine type Enneagram.

The Myers - Briggs typology was developed by Isabel Myers - Briggs in the 1940s, and was based on the work of famous Swiss psychologist, Carl Jung. Jung initially came up with eight character types, but Myers - Briggs added a further dimension to the model to come up with sixteen character types based on an individual’s position on four continuums, ranges or scales of preferences with opposites at each end:

-          From Extraversion - to - Introversion

-          From iNtuitive - to - Sensate

-          From Thinking - to - Feeling

-          From Judging - to - Perceiving

Each of the opposites is assigned a letter e.g. “E” for Extraversion, “I” for Introversion, “N” for Intuitive etc. Through a carefully prepared and researched questionnaire, each individual can determine their preferences in each of these four areas and come up with one of sixteen character types represented by a set of four letters such as ENFJ (extraverted, intuitive, feeling and judging), or ISTP, or ISTJ etc. Whilst the Myers - Briggs Typology is most useful when explored with the official test and a trained facilitator, there are many books available on the theories of Myers - Briggs, and many of them come with simple tests that can provide some insights into our Myers - Briggs type, our personality and our identity. Tests are also available on the internet.

To get you started, here are some pairs of identity indicators that will give you an idea of how personality characteristics differ for people whose preferences are at either end of these four continuums. In reality, most people find themselves somewhere between these extremes.

Myers - Briggs Typology

Continuum One: Relating to the world and people through extraversion or introversion

-          An Extravert type loves and is energized by interaction with people, whereas an Introvert type is drained by interaction with people

-          An Extravert type does things and then thinks about them, whereas an Introvert type usually reflects before doing anything

-          An Extravert type has a wide range of interests, whereas an Introvert type tends to be focussed on fewer interests

-          An Extravert type has many friends and is very sociable, whereas an Introvert type has only a few close friends and is seen as difficult to get to know

-          An Extravert type gets lonely without a network, whereas an Introvert type feels lonely without a significant friend

Continuum Two: Perceiving information intuitively or through the five senses

-          An iNtuitive type sees patterns and possibilities in information, whereas a Sensing type focuses on what is happening in the "now"

-          An iNtuitive type uses their imagination and intuition to take in information, whereas a Sensing type mainly uses the five senses to take in information

-          An iNtuitive type sees the whole picture and needs to see how all things "fit" together, whereas a Sensing type notices details and facts and needs to understand the parts before understanding "the whole"

-          An iNtuitive type loves variety in what they do, whereas a Sensing type likes to follow routines

-          An iNtuitive type constantly thinks about the future, whereas a Sensing type usually focuses on the present moment

Continuum Three: Judging and making decisions through a process of thinking or feeling

-          A Thinking type makes decisions with logic, whereas a Feeling type makes decisions based on existing values

-          A Thinking type thinks about consequences to make decisions, whereas a Feeling type thinks about what is most important when making decisions

-          A Thinking type values reason, whereas a Feeling type values compassion

-          A Thinking type likes to see justice done, whereas a Feeling type is always open to offering mercy

-          A Thinking type likes to be treated fairly, whereas a Feeling type likes to be appreciated

-          A Thinking type is a task-oriented person, whereas a Feeling type is a people oriented person

Continuum Four: Relating to the outer world through judging processes or perceiving processes

-          A Judging type prefers life to be planned, structured, and orderly, whereas a Perceiving type likes flexibility and prefers to keep their options open

-          A Judging type likes to close a deal, whereas a Perceiving type likes to keep the deal open for as long as possible

-          A Judging type worries if decisions are put off, whereas a Perceiving type worries as the time approaches for decisions to be made

-          A Judging type sees life as a time to get things done, whereas a Perceiving type sees life as a time of opportunities

-          A Judging type likes to develop systems to do things, whereas a Perceiving type likes to do things however they feel like doing them at the time

-          A Judging type is goal oriented, whereas a Perceiving type is adaptable to change

Creative responses

CREATIVE RESPONSE (SU): Reflect on the Myers - Briggs Chart and identify your preferences in each of the pairs of identity indicators.

*         If using a Thematic Journal, on a clean page in the “Identity Documents” section, write the heading, “Myers-Briggs Personality Typology”.

*         Underneath the heading, copy the following chart of four pairs of preferences with opposites at each side of the page:

-          Extraversion - or - Introversion

-          iNtuitive - or - Sensate

-          Thinking - or - Feeling

-          Judging - or - Perceiving

*         Now look back at the pairs of elements listed under the heading, “Continuum One: Relating to the world and people through extraversion or introversion” above. For each pair of elements, choose the one that most relates to you and place a tick beside the appropriate preference on the chart you have just prepared. E.g. In the first pair of elements, if you are the type who “loves and is energized by being with people”, place a tick beside “Extraversion” on your chart.

*         Once you have completed the five pairs of elements relating to extraversion or introversion, add the total number of ticks for each. You will relate more to either the Extraversion (E) or to the Introversion (I) sides which will give you the first letter of your overall type style. Proceed through the other three sets of sentences to determine whether you are an Intuitive or Sensate type, a Thinking or Feeling type and a Judging or Perceiving type. You will then have a provisional four letter type style e.g. if you ticked mostly the Extraversion side, mostly Sensate, mostly Feeling and mostly Perceiving sides, your type style will be ESFP. There are sixteen possibilities.

*         If you have access to the internet, you only need to enter your four letters - without spaces - into “Google” and you will discover sites with expanded descriptions of your type. Alternatively, obtain a book on the Myers Briggs Typology and look up the details of your type. Best of all, look for an opportunity to attend a workshop on discovering details of your Myers - Briggs type.