Understanding your Identity with the Enneagram

Necessary wisdom

The Enneagram came to us from the ancient Islamic mystics known as Sufis, and they observed that human personalities differ in terms of the way people learn to cope with stressful situations in life. The theory of the Enneagram suggests that the circumstances of our lives as very young children caused us to adopt a certain set of assumptions about the world - particularly with regard to the ways, when and how we gained love and attention from our parental figures and other people.

Because of these assumptions, we developed a range of strategies to seek love and attention from others, and ways of coping when we did not receive all the attention we desired. These strategies became our typical coping strategies as children and they stayed with us right into adulthood. After many years of practice, we became efficient at coping in our particular ways, so our strategies honed a range of strengths that characterized our personality and the best moments of our adult behaviour. Unfortunately, those same assumptions and coping strategies also tend to limit and restrict our responses to life’s events when we are under stress. During the tough times, we tend to slip into the same compulsive coping behaviour we used as infants.

After studying the compulsive coping behaviour of children and adults, the Sufis believed there are just nine typical sets of responses. They designated these response types with the numbers one to nine, but certain traditions also described them with other descriptive terms and even animal symbols.

The Sufis argue that when we understand the compulsive motivation behind our behaviour i.e. when we understand our Enneagram type, we can then start to integrate some of the strengths of the other types into our personality. The ultimate goal of the Enneagram is that individuals use the knowledge it provides to develop their weaker areas and grow towards wholeness - a state where we use the most appropriate response to situations, and not necessarily our typical, preferred or compulsive response.

When describing the different types, writers typically list characteristics in two groups: the strengths that come to the fore in our best moments and the compulsive behaviours that arise during our darker moments of stress and chaos.

Listed below are the nine Enneagram types and the typical childhood “coping” strategies associated with each, followed by a list of typical personality characteristics in the form of identity elements that we can associate with the nine types.

Enneagram Childhood Coping Strategies

-          A Type One gains love and attention by being “good”, and doing the “right thing”

-          A Type Two gains love and attention by being needed and by doing what others seem to need and want

-          A Type Three gains love and attention by being successful and being the “best” at things

-          A Type Four gains love and attention by being the “special” one that others will want to love the most

-          A Type Five deals with times when they do not have the love and attention they want by limiting their expectations and being self sufficient

-          A Type Six gains love and attention by being obedient to those in authority and trying to avoid dangerous situations

-          A Type Seven deals with the times when they do not have the love they want by escaping into fantasy and being “fun” lovers

-          A Type Eight deals with the times when they do not have the love they want by trying not to be vulnerable and instead, asserting their power over the situation by being powerful

-          A Type Nine attempts to gain love and attention by being agreeable, by going along with what others want and merging others’ needs with theirs.

Typical Symbols & Identity Elements Associated With Enneagram Types

Type Ones - Also described as “the reformer”, “the perfectionist”, “the achiever”, or “the ant”

In their best moments, a “One” might be described as someone who:

-          has a positive and stable outlook on life

-          applies sound judgement and common sense to issues, and is able to discern the key issues in a complex problem

-          is concerned about injustices and who crusades for the rights of those suffering injustices

-          can draw out the gifts in other people

-          is truthful and ethical

In their worst or highly stressful moments, a “One” might be described as someone who:

-          always likes to be “right” and can therefore be quite judgemental, critical and intolerant of others

-          has a seething bed of repressed anger

-          tends to not reveal their emotions readily

-          constantly and anxiously worries about things

-          hates to waste time, and can be quite possessive of their time

Type Twos - Also described as “the helper”, “the giver” or “the Irish Setter”

In their best moments, a “Two” might be described as someone who:

-          is kind, caring and supportive of others

-          is sensitive to, and considerate of others’ needs

-          is a loyal and faithful friend

-          is able to clearly express and assert their own needs

-          clearly and directly states how they see things

In their worst or highly stressful moments, a “Two” might be described as someone who:

-          tends to be a compulsive rescuer and advice giver

-          can become irritable and mean if others are not as caring to them

-          over-romanticises love and is easily infatuated

-          might easily become over-possessive or jealous

-          may work hard for others and then suddenly refuse to help anymore

Type Threes - Also described as “the performer”, “the succeeder”, the “motivator”, or “the eagle”

In their best moments, a “Three” might be described as someone who:

-          attractively radiates self confidence in the presence of others

-          draws people together into communities

-          is a natural leader and motivator with effective communication skills

-          encourages and affirms others

-          is enthusiastic and spontaneous

In their worst or highly stressful moments, a “Three” might be described as someone who:

-          “uses” others for their own ends

-          is vain and competitively wants to be the centre of attention

-          can be callous with those who are not “with” them

-          can be so task oriented they lose sight of other peoples’ needs

-          will pragmatically and readily shift their allegiances and beliefs to suit the circumstances

Type Fours - Also described as “the individualist”, “the romantic”, “the artist”, or “the black stallion”

In their best moments, a “Four” might be described as someone who:

-          is creative, artistic, cultured and an appreciator of beauty

-          is sensitive to the “vibes” of a group and responsive to their environment

-          focuses fully on, and pours all their energy into their current project

-          understands their own depths and is able to get in touch with their own unconscious motivations

-          is a creative channel for good

In their worst or highly stressful moments, a “Four” might be described as someone who:

-          withdraws to their inner world and cuts themselves off from other people

-          feels things intensely but finds it difficult to communicate these feelings to others

-          can easily over-exaggerate their feelings, particularly their negative feelings towards themselves

-          tends to be individualistic and finds it hard to be part of a team

-          can be self-indulgent and neglect the things they feel they should do

Type Fives - Also described as “the observer”, “the thinker”, or “the owl”

In their best moments, a “Five” might be described as someone who:

-          is a clear, perceptive, and original thinker

-          appreciates knowledge for its own sake

-          can quickly see the “whole” picture and provide an accurate overview of an issue

-          is a gentle, patient, accepting listener

-          may take time to relate to others but who can develop close relationships with those they trust

In their worst or highly stressful moments, a “Five” might be described as someone who:

-          can be immersed in their own thinking to the exclusion of others

-          can be suspicious of others and commonly cynical of others’ motives

-          is contemptuous of others’ ignorance and may be intimidating

-          can be paralysed by shyness, aloof, and stingy in sharing themselves

-          finds it very difficult to directly ask for what they want

Type Sixes - Also described as “the guardian”, “the trooper”, “the questioner”, “the loyalist” or “the deer”

In their best moments, a “Six” might be described as someone who:

-          is a very warm, friendly, approachable and co-operative person

-          is a completely loyal, protective and trusting friend or parent whilst being able to playfully tease those they like

-          acts responsibly and appreciates the difficulties of those who are in authority or in positions of leadership

-          has an innocent, child-like quality - especially in relation to authority figures

-          is courageous and willing to tackle the difficult jobs

In their worst or highly stressful moments, a “Six” might be described as someone who:

-          doubts and worries about their own competence and is often unsure of themselves

-          is constantly “on guard”, wary and cautious

-          always obeys the rules and holds a dogmatic faith in authorities (due to their own self-doubt)

-          believes they are approved of by authorities and resents or accuses others who seem to “get away with things” or who do not “obey the rules”

-          constantly puts things off because of their own self doubt

Type Sevens - Also described as “the dreamer”, “the epicure”, “the adventurer” or “the butterfly”

In their best moments, a “Seven” might be described as someone who:

-          is cheerful, optimistic, playful and full of child-like joy

-          is very sensitive to people and objects in the material world

-          is living in the “here and now”

-          likes making others feel at home and playing the generous host

-          is resourceful and knows how to get things done

In their worst or highly stressful moments, a “Seven” might be described as someone who:

-          almost always attempts to escape pain or unpleasant situations

-          compulsively daydreams and fantasizes about the unrealistic things they plan to do but who rarely gets around to practically implementing their plans and dreams

-          will “play” with almost anyone who has the time to “play” now instead of developing long-term, solid friendships

-          is very talkative and chatters to reduce pain and tension, commonly using analogies to avoid facing things directly

-          believes the world should look after them “now”, and can become volatile and angry if things do not go the way they want

Type Eights - Also described as “the confronter”, “the boss”, “the asserter”, “the leader” or “the tiger”

In their best moments, an “Eight” might be described as someone who:

-          is a natural leader who brings people together in a positive way under a common vision

-          can sense what is needed in a particular situation and ensures that it gets done

-          works tirelessly and passionately for a cause - often involving other people

-          is open, direct and honest - “what you see is what you get”

-          faces life with courage and honour

In their worst or highly stressful moments, an “Eight” might be described as someone who:

-          can be hostile and dictatorial to those who disagree with or defy them

-          typically shows instant opposition to any suggestion they have not provided

-          is easily bored and seeks extreme or excessive means of entertainment

-          cannot tolerate dishonesty or deceit in others

-          competitively treats other people as objects or as opposition to overcome

Type Nines - Also described as “the preservationist”, “the mediator”, “the peacemaker” or “the porpoise”

In their best moments, a “Nine” might be described as someone who:

-          is humble and unpretentious

-          is undemanding, peaceful and easy to get along with

-          is able to see both sides of an issue and take an impartial stance as a facilitator

-          seems to feel at home in the outdoors and in natural surroundings

-          seems to be able to calm others down

In their worst or highly stressful moments, a “Nine” might be described as someone who:

-          withdraws from any kind of external conflict to the point of withdrawing from other people rather than facing the issue

-          avoids any inner conflicts and will avoid facing obvious problems in their relationships or occupations

-          tends to be a compulsive conformist and goes along with the existing situation instead of rocking the boat

-          is a compulsive conservative and resistant to change even when it is required to solve a problem

-          finds it difficult to become really engaged or involved in activities

Creative responses

CREATIVE RESPONSE (SU): Explore the list of identity elements for each of the nine Enneagram types to discover which type most applies to you.

*         Read the list of identity elements for each type, and take note of the number of elements that apply to you under each type heading. Your highest totals may indicate the most likely contenders for your Enneagram type.

*         This activity is not an official or comprehensive test, so your results will only provide you with a starting point for further investigation. For some detailed descriptions of each Enneagram personality type and more rigorous tests, type “Enneagram” into an internet search engine and explore some of the sites which describe the types in detail.

*         Remember that our Enneagram type is something that has to “grow” on us over time. At one workshop I attended back in the 1970s, our instructor informed us that we need to live with our suggested type for at least a year before we might really own it.

*         If you have just encountered the Myers-Briggs typology (see above) for the first time, and this is also the first time you have heard of the Enneagram, you may find it very confusing to explore both typologies at the same time. Consider placing one of them “on hold” while you explore the other.